The Biggest Reason I Love Social Media

It’s not because social media has been the most important factor in building my business. (Although it has.)

It’s not because it levels the playing field in so many ways. (Although it does.)

And it’s not because I’m now very much in touch with the quotidian habits of people I have not seen in twenty-five  years. (It is definitely not that.)

The biggest reason I love social media so much? Because it’s okay to be affectionate.

Yeah, that’s right. Because I can tell people I admire that I think they’re great. Because I can tell people I love that I love them, and it’s not weird. (Or at least no one has called me on it.)

I’m very touchy-feely by nature. I tell my husband and kid I love them roughly eighty times a day. (I’ve never actually counted, but I say it a lot.) I’m a hugger. A cuddler. A kisser. I pat arms and heads. But only when I have no fear of being rebuffed; otherwise I’m an ice queen.

Lots of everyday things are just amazing to me, and I like to point them out. Particularly when those things are people. But it often freaks people out, in person. And sometimes it’s misinterpreted (you can’t really hug everybody, as it turns out). And yet. Online, I can yell, “I LOVE YOU!” when someone I know says something particularly witty or inspiring. I can leave a note on a blog belonging to someone on the other side of the world, letting them know that I think that person is lovely and wise and wonderful and makes the world a better place.

Why is that? Is it because it’s text, as opposed to real-time flesh and blood, and therefore less confrontational? Is it because online we have to rely on words alone, as opposed to all of the visual/socioeconomic/sexual/etc. signals that we flash at each other all day long? Maybe a combination of the two–maybe also a million other reasons, to boot.

There’s a side effect to this thing, though. I’m becoming less and less afraid of being rebuffed. Which is to say: I’m more and more affectionate in real life. I’ve all but stopped worrying that people will think I’m weird or too forward or needy (and trust me: I am all of those things). Because I work from home, because Twitter is my co-worker, I’m immersed for much of the day in a culture where building people up is–o, the humanity!–the norm. (I know! What?!) And because of it, I don’t stop to think anymore before lavishing my love upon the people I run into.

Oh, I know it sounds a bit like a cheesy inspirational novel (Twitter Emboldened Me: An Awakening of Love). But you know what? Life is like that sometimes. I’m okay with it.

Also? I LOVE YOU! You are really awesome.

My Co-Workers: You, You, and YOU.

A few weeks ago, my friend Stacy put words to something I’d been thinking about for some time. Appropriately, she said it via Twitter: “…twitter is like the watercooler for the self-employed.” Of course! I thought. That’s exactly what it is. Since I am self-employed, I see very few other humans during an average workday, and while I generally consider that one of the perks of this gig, it can get lonely from time to time.

But social media gives me that hit of humanity, just enough to make me feel like I’m not the tree in the forest that didn’t really fall since no one heard it. I check in to see what everybody’s up to; we compare notes on the weekend, on how everybody hates Mondays, on what our kids and spouses did–oh, and the projects we’re working on.  Occasionally we lose or gain cohorts.

It’s been nearly a year since I shared an office with @Loops91 and nearly six since I worked with @bbrasier–but because they’re both on Twitter, I can ask a question, make a snide comment or continue to beat an old inside joke into the ground with no more effort than if I were there with them. (For which they are no doubt unendingly grateful, given my love of beating old inside jokes into the ground.)  My friends @randibuckley and @fridaworld are on the other end of the state and world, respectively, from me, but most weekdays we check in with each other fairly regularly. And although I’ve yet to meet @sarahjbray or @WhenIGroUpCoach in person, they may as well be just down the hall from me.

It is a bit ironic, no? We get away from the watercooler and promptly find a new way to replicate those same dynamics. But here’s the thing: they may be the same dynamics, but now we have the luxury of choosing the minds and personalities with whom we’re brainstorming, commiserating and/or verbally jousting. As Sarah and I were saying from our respective offices [actually, she was outside on her property somewhere in Virginia Beach and I was at my kitchen table in suburban Los Angeles] the other day, it’s nothing short of delicious to be able to find whole enclaves of those all-too-rare-in-real-life, like-minded individuals. It changes how we think, how we feel, how we work.

So it isn’t quite business as usual, no. It’s business, but better. Call it Post-Watercoolerism, if you like. I’m just calling it great.

Photo by NidalM.

#5 is my favorite.

I use GoogleVoice primarily for business. If I get a business call at home, I can just answer the land line and rest a little easier, knowing the call won’t be dropped due to the sporadic cell phone coverage in my hometown. That aside, I think the main benefit of having voice-to-text messages delivered to my phone and my inbox lies in the fact that, generally, I can get an idea of whether or not my client is angry. That’s about all I can tell from the text, but it’s something. Hey, it’s free. Here, some excellent examples of the voice-to-text messages I’ve received.

1. Hi Emma, it’s so if you are doing calling.

2. I think you’re probably a better word to describe it, but there’s just something about it, but I’d like to just seems really 9 cents off and something that if someone was reading yet.

3. Anyway, I’m calling about the photos that you sent tapes. I guess they look ok. Other not great but whenever you wanna call into Scott 243.

4. Also, can you throw the Warriors resort referral service and I get free referrals from that.

5. Hi. This is Susan. I think I want to be put on a bro.

Lite Sites! Lite Sites! Read all about it!

Have you met my friend Sarah Bray? She’s a kick-ass designer (and entrepreneur, and wife and mama), and she’s recently launched something that’s going to knock your socks off. It’s called Lite Sites. Here’s what Sarah has to say about them:

LiteSites are gorgeous, customized pre-built websites that are packed with functionality and are built for you in just a week. Yep. One week from when you return my handy checklist, you will have a uniquely amazing website for less than half the cost and one-eighth of the time.

And:

One of the problems with templates and themes is that they are decidedly un-interesting. In order to make something that will appeal to everyone, designers end up making bland decisions that effectively un-brand you. I designed LiteSites as if I was designing a website for myself. I rocked these out. You can’t find sites like ‘em anywhere.

Also:

The “lite” in LiteSites refers to a cost-effective, simple process with a faster turn-around. The sites themselves have just as much functionality and capability as any other site I’ve developed. We can also add features a la carte if you’re into that sort of thing (such as PayPal integration or extra pages).

She’s not kidding, people–she TOTALLY rocked these out. Go and see. And then get in touch with her by clicking on the image below. Be sure to mention that you know me (or, you know, read me), so you can get your $100 off.

Now, don’t forget to put your socks back on.

Pam Slim’s Big 5 Mid-Year, Game-Changing Questions

A few days ago, the fantastic Pam Slim published a post on her site that centered around the notion of examining one’s progress and direction, six months into the year. I loved the idea immediately (and you should go read it ASAP). One of the best lessons I learned from my five years in corporate America is the importance of process, and a hugely important part of process is tracking progress.

Maybe that terminology is a bit buttoned up. If you’re yawning right now, take heart. All it really means is this: if you want to arrive at a particular destination, you need a plan. And then, every now and then, you need to compare what you’ve done and what you’re doing to that plan. It’s so easy to stray off course (and if that’s not the case for you, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog; may I politely recommend that you write a how-to book instead? Or, you know, a how-NOT-to book, whatevs.) . And it’s easy to correct, if you catch it early on. It’s also easier to change course at that point, if you’re finding it’s not working out. But wait too long and the recipe’s ruined, the presentation is all wrong, the car has run completely out of oil…you get the picture.

Anyway, this has been, as I’ve mentioned, a year of tremendous changes. Lots of amazing opportunities. Lots of great experiences. And, naturally, a fair amount of confusion.  A check-in, with some regrouping, seems to be in order right about now, and I thought I’d take a crack at Pam’s questions here.

1. What are you going to focus on? Making my home a smoothly-run, happy operation. Building my business. Honesty. Love.
2. What are you going to improve? The level of my fitness.
3. What are you going to grow? My packaging and networking.
4. What are you going to leave behind? The idea that I’m not allowed to set boundaries and expect others to respect them.
5. What are you going to learn? French.

It’s good to see these here, in black and white; it helps to cement them in my consciousness. I focused my answers on both my personal and business lives; you may choose to focus on just one. I’d love to know what your answers are. Post them in the comments!