For each time that I thought: now I don’t have to worry anymore.
For every instance of flushed cheeks and anxiety over what I’d said and all the ways it may have been interpreted.
For the words of wisdom that came too late, or not at all.
For the way you raged when I bared my soul.
For the complications you choreographed to avoid straight answers.
For the want.
For the need.
For the roles and responsibilities assigned by you, or by me, or by generations of people we’ve never met.
For the endless deaths. And their dramas.
For the adherence to rules I didn’t create and never actually cared about.
For the lists upon lists that require checking off before I can function.
For the unmitigated fatigue.
For these things I give thanks. For their clarity now, I give thanks. For you, I give thanks.
For your retreat, I give thanks.