I followed a link today and wound up reading a straight-up, no-bullshit blog post written by someone who is highly intelligent, articulate, and on the very first day of a long, hard journey. I know addiction and its alluring, tantalizing promises. It is one sexy demon. I come from two long lines of ad
dicts, both practicing and dry. I’ve been to countless funerals necessitated by death via entanglement. And if I were to share the countless ways I keep watch, the many nights I stay up late with a fine-tooth comb and a bottle of No More Tears, spraying and combing until I can rest assured I have not developed any sultry little snares–well, the truth is I don’t want to share that with anybody. But it’s a constant upkeep. It’s just so easy for me. And I cannot afford to be distracted anymore, at this stage.
Anyway, I left a comment for the brave soul telling the truth about the wrestling match she’s just signed on for. And shortly thereafter, I heard from her. She said the comment had been helpful. Which was so, so gratifying for me. So I thought I would post my comment here, just in case it might help anyone else. And I’ll be honest: it helps me, too. To be a hand in the darkness. It keeps me grounded. It reminds me that we’re all in this thing together.
You don’t know me. But I get it. I understand this. And addiction. And, by extension, you. Make no mistake: it is a battle. To the death. To call it anything short of that is to simultaneously candy-coat and undermine one of the most difficult things a human can do. Remember that. When you find yourself knowing beyond a doubt that you absolutely, positively cannot go on without that thing that makes everything bearable–and you will find yourself there, many times, before you’re through–remember: it IS a battle. And battles DO taste an awful lot like shit. So don’t be deterred by the taste, the exhaustion, the fear. Most of all, do not be swayed by the illusion of hopelessness. Because that part is a lie. It is the biggest lie of all. You’re not hopeless. Not now, not ever. Remember that. Okay? Do it.
